


Fairy Boys: Relations

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Family, Glitterverse, Humor, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 13:52:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5930773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The events of the boys' two-year anniversary bash. Features irritating little cousins, doting grandmothers, and Lupin and Black shagging in the men's loo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fairy Boys: Relations

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

"I knew this bloody anniversary party was a bad bloody idea," Sirius grumbled. He kept his eyes on his half-empty beer bottle, not wanting to look at the mass of drunken, pink-cheeked relatives for one more second.

"Hey, it's not THAT bad," Remus said, trying hard to push away a child who was clinging to his leg and smearing cake all over his new flares.

The little boy grinned up at him, let out a loud burp, then smiled charmingly as he chirped, "Mummy taught me how to wipe my own bum after I go poopoo."

"Sirius," Remus said despairingly, grabbing onto the back of a chair for balance as he lifted his foot and tried to shake the child off. "Please tell me this is one of YOUR cousins."

"I don't think it is."

"Well, I'm sure it's not mine. Get it off me!"

Sirius set his bottle down on a nearby table and grabbed the boy around the pudgy middle. Of course, he promptly began wailing. Sirius carried him onto the dancefloor and deposited him into the arms of a fat, grandmotherly woman who didn't seem to belong to anyone either.

"As I was saying," Remus called, as Sirius prised the boy's clutching fingers off his shirt one by one and came back, "it isn't that bad. At least my mum's accepting us now."

"Finally," Sirius grumbled. He put his arms around Remus's waist. One hand slipped under the hem of his shirt and began gently stroking his back. "Only took her two bloody years."

"Well, the point is, she's accepted it, and she's happy for us, and she's throwing us a party."

"Oh, look! A flying pig!"

"Stop it!"

"Sorry. I mean, oh, yes, isn't it wonderful that your mother is no longer a revolting homophobe?"

"No..." Remus squirmed, trying to twist out of Sirius's embrace. "Stop stroking my back like that."

Sirius didn't stop. "Why?"

"BECAUSE!! You know what it does to me."

"Ohh." Sirius smirked, and ran the fingertips of his other hand up the base of Remus's spine as well.

Remus shivered. He reached up and threaded his fingers through Sirius's hair, pulling him forwards and holding him close for a long, deep kiss. Traces of the ridiculous amounts of Triple-Strength Butterbeer they'd consumed were still in their mouths; they licked them from each other's tongues.

And Sirius's hands never stopped their assault on Remus's sensitive, ticklish nerves.

They broke off when they felt something tugging at their trousers. It was the little boy. He opened his mouth and proudly showed them a chewed mass of peanuts and jelly.

"Fuck OFF, you dirty little shit!" Sirius yelled.

The boy ran away crying.

"Ah. Well done, Padfoot," Remus said reproachfully."

Sirius's eyes were innocently wide. "What?!"

"That kid belongs to one of our families. It's probably best not to piss either of them off. We still have a long way to go before everyone accepts us." He looked pointedly at Sirius's Uncle Michael, who'd been glaring at them for two hours.

"He was getting food and slobber on my new clothes!"

The anguished tone to Sirius's voice made Remus laugh. He hugged him. "You're so vain. You probably think this song is about you..."

Sirius listened. "Hot One? Isn't it?"

Remus laughed again. "You're lucky I love you so much."

"I know." Sirius wasn't joking around any more. One hand came up to gently cup Remus's cheek. "I'm the luckiest man in the world."

They couldn't hear the loud music, or the chatting and laughing around them, or the screams of the weird, unwanted, annoying little boy... just thumping hearts and slow, steady, deep breathing. They pulled each other closer.

"I want you," Remus whispered. "It's been two DAYS since we've done anything more than kiss. I can't wait 'til we get home. I want you NOW."

Sirius kissed his cheek. "Right now?"

"Now."

So he grabbed Remus's hand and moved it to his crotch.

Remus gasped, and hurriedly pulled it away.

"What are you DOING?!"

"You said now."

"Not here!! I don't want mum and dad seeing again. Not to mention the assortment of grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins and CHILDREN!"

Sirius pouted grumpily, and Remus extracted himself from the close embrace.

"Where are the toilets in this place?" he asked.

Sirius's eyes widened slightly at the seductive tone of Remus's whisper. "Are you for real?"

Remus grinned. "We're nineteen and we've never had a quickie in a public toilet. There's something wrong here. Come on."

~ **~**

They're not sure exactly when conversation had turned to desperate, frantic kissing... then again, reasonable thoughts are the last thing in their minds right now, having been usurped for the time being by pure lust.

Breathed against a hot cheek, kissed from flushed lips, "It's been far too long."

Hands thrust into golden-brown hair, tousling and clutching, ripping out the tie so it falls down and caresses their cheeks, gets caught in their mouths as they move against each other.

Four shaking hands fumble at the zip of his new, uncharacteristically smart trousers. They're pushed down quickly, black fabric constraints trapping his ankles together, evoking memories of...

Around a mouthful of earlobe, "Remember when you..."

"...let you tie me up? Yes."

Two soft laughs, cut off by yet another bruising kiss.

~~

Three witches and a very excited Muggle fought their way through the crowd of drunken, dancing uncles, towards an empty table in the corner. They settled down, and began digging through their handbags for photographs of their precious grandsons.

"Here they are!" Grandma Edith said proudly. She held up a little thing that looked like a postage stamp, then tapped it with her wand until it had grown into a large studio portrait of Sirius and his father. "My Connor, and my little Siripoo. Aren't they handsome?"

The other ladies oohed and aahed accordingly.

Althea's mother, Grandma Helen, had a whole little ALBUM containing photos of her daughter and grandson, although the witches were greatly confused that none of the images moved.

"Look at this one here," Grandma Ruth said, gazing fondly at a photo of Remus and his father waving cheerily from a roller-coaster moments before it started moving. "We went on a big family trip to the seaside when Remie was twelve. I've never seen him laugh so much."

Grandma Alice leaned over and peered at it through the thick lenses of her spectacles. "I remember that day," she said. "Just after getting off that stupid up and down and inside-out ride, those two bought a foot-long neverending hotdog each, and nearly choked to death trying to cram them into their mouths."

~ **~**

He pushes him against the wall, pushes him in the space between two sinks. They're cold against his hot skin, almost uncomfortably cold, but with the first touch of tongue comes a strange sort of peripheral numbness... all feeling disappears, all but the grip of beloved fingers, and wet kisses, and gusts of breath, and licks, lips, motion and suction and so much love...

A moaned name, whispered words of amour, trembling hands smoothing down soft black hair.

Murmured, "Stop... stop."

"Why?" The softest whisper.

"I told you -- I want you."

~~

"Fuck off, you dirty little shit," the grubby boy whispered to a tiny blonde girl.

Her eyes suddenly became very large and very rounded. She pressed both plump hands to her mouth in shock.

"Pass it on," the boy said. He smiled proudly, and moved to the next person.

The little girl paused for a moment, then ran across the dancefloor to her sister.

"Suck off, you dirty little spit," she lisped solemnly. "Pass it on."

~ **~**

Soft lips stained deep pink by kisses, parted slightly, moistened by probing tongues and hot breaths.

His eyes are too beautiful, cigarette-smoke grey, still seductive, and bright and shining and so, so beautiful.

Never knew awful silver could be so alluring.

Eyes open as they kiss, silver on amber-brown, kicking away trousers, but never breaking contact. Brushing his face lightly with his fingertips, as if trying to learn its contours, as if he doesn't already map them in his mind every second of the day...

Head turns to the right. He sucks a finger into his mouth. Suggestive? Of course.

~~

"...and then," Althea Black said, "he packed some clean underwear in a little bag and climbed out of his window. Said he was running away, all because we told him to turn his music down a bit."

Claire Lupin laughed. "Remus threatened to run away when he was little, too. All children do."

Althea raised her eyebrows. "Little? He was seventeen!" She chuckled fondly at the memory. "Quite a handful, but I wouldn't change him for the world."

Claire's reply was interrupted when a little snotty-nosed boy came running over.

"Auntie ALFIEEEE!!" he wailed.

Claire saw Althea roll her eyes before crouching down.

"Nathaniel, darling, aren't you enjoying the party?"

"NO!" Nathaniel cried. He rubbed his streaming nose with a sticky hand, succeeding only in wiping the dribble and food up his cheek like some sort of crazy warpaint. "Mummy just smacked me 'cause Siri told me a bad words!"

"Oh, no. He didn't call you a dickhead again, did he?"

"No. It was BADDER!"

"What did he say?"

Nathaniel looked around edgily. "I'm not allowed to tell you," he whispered.

Althea grinned at Claire, before turning her attention back to her little nephew. "I won't tell you off. Cross my heart. Tell me what he said, and we can go and find him and smack him."

Nathaniel stopped crying immediately. He beamed at her, and shouted, "FUCK OFF, YOU DIRTY LITTLE SHIT!"

Unfortunately, there was a tiny gap in the music just then, as the slightly incompetent DJ changed discs. The high-pitched little voice reverberated through the room.

"NATHANIEL BLACK!" someone bellowed angrily.

"Oops," Althea whispered. "Better go and hide under the food table or something, love."

Nathaniel ran.

"Nicely handled," Claire said approvingly.

"Thanks. But where IS that son of mine? I should probably make him apologise."

Claire scanned the crowd. "I can't see him. I haven't seen him for a while. Or Remus, actually."

"Eh, well," Althea said, "if Sirius has disappeared, you're not likely to find Remus still hanging about. Practically joined at the hip, those two."

"Joined at the hip," Claire repeated darkly. "Yes."

~ **~**

"Yes, yes..."

Breathy repetitions from a lust-cracked voice. Fingers perform their magic, curling around his erection and moving up and down as he leans in for for a kiss, suddenly dripping, slippery, probing below and seeking entrance to his body.

Those words again, those affirmatives of complete submission and longing and NEED.

Stretching, fingers and pushing and rubbing and oh god that spot...

He thinks he pleads, but he can't hear his own voice over the heartbeat in his ears.

And they're gone, but there's something else there, and godgodohgod, and he's half-sitting on the sink, his back pressed hard against the wall, and kissing and hol-- ohohohgodohgod -- holding, and love, neverending love.

Harsh breaths and love and kisses and love and cries stifled on shoulders and love, always love, forever.

Love forever, and yesohOH!!

~~

"There it is!" Sirius said. "I knew it was up this way somewhere.

"About time too," Remus said impatiently. "Come on!"

Fingers entwined, he pulled Sirius towards the door of the mens' toilets, nudging it open with his hip. They began kissing urgently before it had shut behind them.

Then Remus froze.

"What is it, Moony?" Sirius murmured, not really caring at all. He licked gently at Remus's lips, but got no response. He opened his eyes fully. "Remus? What's wrong?"

Remus just stared over Sirius's shoulder. Sirius looked over Remus's, and caught the reflection of the scene in the mirror.

"Oh," he said simply. "So there IS something more embarrassing than being Caught In The Act by your parents."

Remus ran out the door.

"Dad," Sirius said."Mr Lupin. I have to get back to the party."

He followed Remus.

David and Connor exhaled slowly.

"Do you think they suspected something?" Connor asked.

"Of course not. Will you pass me my trousers, please?"

~*~

Remus was sitting on the floor a little way down the corridor, pale and trembling slightly.

"Remus?" Sirius said quietly, kneeling beside him.

"Eep."

"Are you okay?"

"Mrerble."

"...Remus?"

"No," he whispered. "I'm NOT okay! Didn't you SEE them?!"

"Unfortunately, yes. But look at it this way -- we're lucky we didn't go in two minutes earlier."

"OHGOD."

Sirius touched Remus's shoulder gently. "Love?"

"Sirius?"

"Yes?"

"My dad's cock was in your dad's arse, and I SAW it. Let me mourn the loss of my innocence in peace."

"WAAAH!"

Both boys yelled in surprise and scrambled to their feet as a little boy jumped out from behind a nearby potted plant.

"Oh, it's you," Sirius said. He sounded disgusted.

Nathaniel went speeding off down the corridor, cheerily yelling at the top of his voice, "MY DAD'S COCK IS IN YOUR DAD'S ARSE!! MY DAD'S COCK IS IN YOUR DAD'S ARSE!!"

"Well," Remus muttered. "It's nice to know it made SOMEONE happy."

~END~


End file.
